


Going a bit ... Sideways.

by rudeminnesotan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Gen, Harry is a Little Shit, Love Your Beta, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Sirius is a robot, Soulmarks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 12:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30139626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudeminnesotan/pseuds/rudeminnesotan
Summary: Soulmarks were rare, so Harry was surprised that one showed up on his arm after he'd yeeted himself through the Veil chasing Sirius and came out the other side in a galaxy far, far away.By the way... Dogfather, what is that glowing danger-blade? I want one!
Relationships: Sirius Black & Harry Potter
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter: Prologue
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
> 
> AN: Don’t take this too seriously. I don’t. *Follow The Bouncing Muse.*
> 
> Beta’d by Scarletdewdrops. 
> 
> ... ... …

... ... …

“NO!” 

Harry’s scream echoed in the Death Chamber as he watched that red light from Bellatrix knock his godfather back and through the Veil. A well-placed elbow to Remus’ solar plexus had the man releasing him. 

Harry recklessly rushed up the dais and dove through the Veil without a moment of hesitation. 

This time several people screamed, “NO!” 

… … … 

When Harry decided that swan diving after his dogfather through the Veil of Death was the Best Thing Ever™️ to do, he didn’t expect THIS. 

This being nothing. A whole lot of nothing. Absolute bupkis. 

The boy, teenager really if one wanted to get technical, could barely even feel his body. He knew he had mass, and he knew he was holding on to things (probably his wand and Sirius’ wand too. He remembered snatching it up as he scrambled towards the Veil) but there wasn’t much else. 

It is what he imagined floating in a pool would feel like, maybe. 

It took awhile (or maybe no time at all) but Harry became _aware_ of a conversation happening around him. 

Mostly, it consisted of “but he is the Chosen One” and that simple phrase made the teen flinch. Why did everyone say he was the Chosen One? It was so unfair. No one understood just how stupid it was to have an entire world’s weight on their shoulders. He is just a kid; not a title, thanking you.

The conversation around him paused. One voice said, “He’s got a point,” and that’s when Harry realized that they could read his thoughts!? 

Whoever they were. 

“He can’t go on, and he can’t go back. He has a Destiny.” Harry decided that this voice sounded feminine. He decided that he would call it Patricia. 

Another voice snorted at his decision and Harry smirked in response. As they continued to talk, Harry could feel more of himself. He still felt… light (like a feather! Did someone cast Wingardium on him?) but there was substance to him now. 

“Maybe we could send him… sideways?” Oh, Harry liked this voice. This voice would be Kevin.

Somehow that got him thinking about Sirius again. Patricia made a sad noise at him. 

“No!” Harry managed to shout, feeling how he had a voice and face and tongue, and all those other necessary things again. “If I go, Sirius comes with! It’s not fair that only I go!” 

“We can’t send him,” A new voice (promptly dubbed Richard) offered. 

Harry wasn’t sure if Richard was talking to him, about him, or about Sirius, but he still replied, “Don’t care,” with all the stubbornness of a teenager with a red-headed mother. 

The voices descended into a low hum then and Harry couldn’t pick up anything from them. Focus drifting, he noticed that he could feel his entire body now and he could see around him. So as any curious, probably dead (maybe? possibly) trouble-prone teen would, he decided to look around. 

It was definitely more like swimming. The nothingness around him parted, in a way, as if it was smoke, and Harry could see shimmering lights all around him. Well, not all around. And not everywhere. Just a few. 

One was definitely brighter than all the rest. Harry shifted the two wands into a pocket (hey, he had pockets again! Sweet!) and reached out to touch it. 

It FELT like Sirius. 

“Hey, I found my dogfather. What are you gonna do now?” Harry grasped this light tightly in his hand and smirked with all the mischievousness of a marauder. 

“Hah!” barked Richard, “A natural. This is why he’s _my_ Chosen.” 

Patricia rolled her eyes (how did Harry know she did that?) then declared, “Fine, whatever. The dog is not important.” 

“Nope. This is though,” Kevin declared just as Harry felt an odd sensation of something pulling on his scar, swiftly followed by searing pain. 

Richard sighed and Patricia sounded like she was getting ready for a Hermione-level rant. 

“Best to get out of here while you still can, my Chosen,” Richard urged and Harry felt a metaphysical push to his shoulders. 

Then he was falling, falling, falling, falling…

Even as Patricia tore Kevin a new one. 

… … …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … … …
> 
> AN: I wrote this last year around May after reading a bunch of soulmate fics and basically thinking, “i can do zat.” So I did. I have … four? Ideas? And this ain’t even the one I fleshed out the most (that would be a platonic Harry-Tony Stark fic.) Anyway, enjoy the beginning of this fic. 
> 
> The voice that Harry names are specific personifications. Richard I feel is obvious who he is. But can you guess who Kevin and Patricia are? 
> 
> Also, their names are vine references. 
> 
> Patricia: PATRICIA! Can you keep it down honey, I'm trying to work on something...   
> Kevin: KEVIN Kevin... watch the light, dude.  
> Richard: What the fuck, Richard?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 
> 
> Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
> 
> AN: Don’t take this too seriously. I don’t. *Follow The Bouncing Muse.*
> 
> Beta’d by Scarletdewdrops. 
> 
> … … …

… … … 

Waking up was not comfortable. Things were stabbing into him from several angles and it took Harry several moments to remember, “Fuck, my wand!” and reach into his back pocket. Thankfully, both his and Sirius’ wands were okay. The sight of the second wand reminded him of, “Sirius!” 

“I’m here, pup,” came the reply and Harry felt his eyes brim with tears. It was the complete opposite reaction he felt when that light first hit his godfather. 

But Sirius’ voice definitely sounded weird. “Why do you sound so weird?” 

“What?” called Sirius, that voice once more all metallic sounding. “Oh, wow. It _does_ sound weird.” Harry heard the metal-- and apparently they were on some kind of giant garbage heap-- shift, so he scrambled to his feet. 

Looking at the wands in his hands, Harry shrugged and stated, “Let me help,” and with a swish and a flick he began to unbury Sirius. 

Who was a robot. 

“Well, that explains why you sounded weird.” 

“What?” Sirius barked, finally taking a look at his hands. “AH!” the robot scrambled back, or as best as it could with arms that didn’t really straighten out. 

Harry couldn’t help himself. 

He started laughing. 

“This isn’t funny, Harry!” Sirius shouted, waving a bent arm around as best as he could. His entire outer body (shell?) was all white, which made Harry laugh even more. 

“Sirius Black is White,” wheezed the teen, doubled over and clutching his stomach. 

Sirius finally got his legs under him and actually toddled his way over to Harry, grumbling the whole way. “This is absolutely terrible,” muttered his godfather, who shook out his head and body like a dog would, but with very little effect. 

“No, you're supposed to say that this is absolutely terrific. I don’t remember the last time I laughed so much,” Harry grinned at Sirius, using his free hand to wipe at his watering eyes. “Oh Merlin, this is perfect,” Another bubble of laughter left the teen, shoulders shaking. 

The robot took a swipe at Harry and connected with his arm. 

“Ow, Sirius! That hurt!” Harry took a moment to rub his arm. “Rude. Aren’t robots supposed to be kind to their human overlords, or something?” 

“Shut up,” Sirius replied, though his glowing, round eyes were looking off in another direction. “Apparently, I’m actually a droid, not a robot.” 

“What’s the difference?” 

The robot (droid?) jerked and Sirius let out a whine. “I can’t SHRUG! This is cruel and unusual punishment! Who did this to me!” 

“I’m going to blame Patricia,” offered Harry, giving his wand a twirl and looking around where they were. He decided fuck the Ministry and pointed his wand at some of the debris. One bag, coming right up!

Behind him, Sirius was still explaining the difference between droids and robots. It had something to do with sentience apparently, but whatever, Harry didn’t care because he was busy trying to transfigure a piece of metal into a backpack. 

Eventually, Sirius stopped and came over to him. “What are you doing?” 

“Trying to make a backpack. There may be some useful shite in this junkyard that we could use. I mean, we’re obviously not in London anymore.” 

Sirius took that moment to look around and did the droid equivalent of a dropped jaw. Or, at least, that’s the impression that Harry got. Finally, his godfather turned his attention back to Harry and grunted. 

“You’re doing it wrong.” 

“Shut up, I didn’t even finish fifth year properly.” 

“You’re still doing it wrong.” 

Harry grunted and then shoved Sirius’ wand at him. “You do better.” 

“Fine, I will,” the droid replied. His arm was a bit jerky, but the hand moved well enough and soon there was a proper leather backpack next to Harry’s weird metallic box thing with straps. ...Let’s call it a lunchback.

There was quite the long pause after that happened. The two beings looked from the backpack, to each other, to the backpack and then to each other again. 

“You can do magic,” Harry stated the obvious. 

“I can,” agreed Sirius. 

“You’re a droid and you can do magic.” 

“Yup.” 

There was another moment and then Harry grinned. “Wicked.” He snatched up the nice leather backpack and pulled it on, offering the metal box with straps to Sirius, but the droid shook his head back and forth (it was more like a pivot thing and very strange to watch and Harry had to stifle more laughter). 

“Actually,” Sirius held up his wand and looked at it. “I wonder.” He shook the wand at Harry a few times before the teen realized what the man-turned-droid wanted and took it from him. Then the entire droid seemed to shake before literally folding in on itself. The metal made a few horrific ear piercing noises that caused Harry to wince, but then there stood…

A robot dog. 

“Oh my god,” Harry laughed, “You're still an animagus?” 

The droid head, now much pointer as a dog, turned to him and the mouth flashed as out came, “Guess so.” 

“And you can talk! Oh Sirius, this is fucking brilliant.” 

The dog-bot tilted it’s head and the mouth flashed again. “I feel like I’m supposed to tell you to watch your language right now, but I don’t know if that’s me or the droid inside of me.” 

That stopped Harry short who had been flicking his wand around to see if there was anything worth taking in the trash pile. “Wait, there’s a droid inside of you?” 

The dog-bot nodded. “Yeah, the original droid is still inside the hardware. But my soul kind of worked like a giant override key and it’s just in the background. Like a little helper.” 

“That’s kind of awesome. What’s the droid’s name?” 

Sirius paused and Harry took the time to cast a _reparo_ at something and made a pleased noise as the screen on what could maybe be some kind of computer screen turned on. On second look, it was not attached to a box, so the computer must be in the screen. Portable. Super cool. Take that ‘electronics don’t work at Hogwarts’! 

Harry was just slipping the portal computer into his fancy backpack from Sirius when the dog-bot responded, “C3-US.” 

“Sea. Three. You. Ess.” Harry considered it. “You Ess. Like the letters? U-S?” There was a pause and then the teen snickered. “It’s almost like Sirius. Sea-three-US.” The last part was said like the pronoun, not the letters. “If you take off that TH sound on three, Sea-ree-US.” Because this all needed to be explained. Teenager logic. 

The droid in question stared at Harry. “I’m rolling my eyes at you. I think. I am in my head. In my brain. In my computer brain. I’m definitely rolling them in my computer brain, you little shit.” 

“Yes, yes, Sirius, whatever you say.” Harry gave the dog-bot a few pats on the head before the droid unfolded in a crinkle of metal and was standing like a normal droid again. The teen gave the droid back his wand and they decided by unspoken mutual agreement to spend ten more minutes at their pile of refuse before moving on. 

They found some pretty cool stuff in the pile, so it was definitely worth it. 

Harry’s favorite find was a jacket. Well, Sirius found it and then Harry pointedly asked, “Do droids wear trench coats here?” and Sirius consulted his inner C3-US and declared, “No, droids do not wear such items on the planet Coruscant.” 

That got them going off on a tangent of “What the fuck is Coruscant?” and they left the heap while Harry learned about the new fuck off planet they were on. 

All and all pretty useful. 

… … … 

It turned out that they had landed in a not-so-nice area of town. Or planet, considering Sirius said that the entire planet was one giant city. At least this planet had the same days and years that Earth did; that would make things easy. 

If they decided to stay. 

After two nasty run ins that were solved via magic, because magic was awesome like that, Harry decided that maybe using his invisibility cloak would be a good thing. 

Because, evidently, he had that in his pocket. 

When he pulled it out and around himself, Sirius just stared. 

“What?” 

“Why do you have that?” 

Harry gave Sirius a look. “I always have this with me. It’s like, my most favorite thing I own.” 

The droid’s eyes flashed at him twice. Sirius had informed him earlier that this meant he was rolling his eyes. “Well obviously, it’s an invisibility cloak, but why was it in your pocket?” 

“I just told you. I always have it with me.” 

“Ugh, whatever, let’s just keep going.” 

Eventually, they made it to a place with other people who didn’t look like they wanted to kill them on sight. Harry slipped inside with his dog-bot by his side (because it was way easier to keep the dog-bot under the cloak than the droid version. 

Well, that and a color-changing charm to make Sirius Black Black Again.)

Either way, they carefully skirted around the edge of the crowd before Sirius tugged at Harry’s pant leg for them to leave. 

Once they were outside and down a new alley (the city-planet was full of them), Sirius unfolded back into a droid. “I’ve got a great idea,” he declared. 

“Oh?” Harry tipped back the hood of his cloak, appearing just as a floating head. 

“Yup,” how could a droid aspirate a P? What the fuck? “We should steal a ship.” 

With Harry’s mind elsewhere, he wasn’t quite sure if he heard his godfather correctly. He stated as such. 

“Maybe. Did you hear me say we should steal a ship?” 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought you said,” Harry eyed Sirius and then shrugged. They’d been on the planet for a few hours and have no idea what the fuck else to do. Why not do that? 

But… “Do you know where to find one?” 

“Follow me!” The droid began to toddle off before folding down into a dog-bot again. Definitely faster that way. 

Harry flipped the hood back up and rushed after his dogfather. 

… … … 

Sirius did, indeed, know where to find ships. Nearly empty and possibly broken ships too actually so they wouldn’t be taking them from anyone that would notice the missingness.

“So, I heard someone in there mentioned an abandoned shipyard and C3 and I cross referenced it on the holo-net and sure enough, there was one. I figured we would have our pick of ship and some magic should make it good as new.” 

It was a sound plan. Almost too good to be true. “Will the ships actually run?” 

Sirius flapped his arms up and down a few times. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I’m shrugging.” 

“It looks like you’re doing the chicken dance.” 

“The what?” 

“The chick-- nevermind,” Harry shook his head. Damn purebloods. “So, even if we _reparo_ the ship, how are we supposed to FLY it?” 

“Got it covered. C3 is already teaching me the basics on how to fly a ship, which I can then teach you, and then you can fly the ship.” Sirius flashed a circle eye-light at him as if winking. “You were always born to fly, since you were a wee lil’ bairn.” 

Harry had no other choice. He slapped his hand to his face. This was immediately regretted because glasses, but he fixed them and rubbed at his nose and just shook his head. “You’re an idiot. Let’s find a ship.” Because, honestly? What else were they going to do? 

… … … 

They inspected about twenty ships of varying stages of completeness-- many having been haphazardly stripped for parts-- before they found one that they really liked. Large enough for the two of them, but C3 said that it was just the right size for Harry to fly on his own with minimal droid assistance. There were a few alien bugs (cool _and_ gross!) that had set up shop in the guts of the ship that Sirius took care of with some handy dandy fire spells (that he then had to promise to teach Harry) and Harry, being the actual alive human, took care of most of the magic to fix the ship that would keep him from exploding in the vacuum of space. 

Sirius then went up to the, what, cockpit? That’s where the driver’s seats are right? Sure, yeah, cockpit and literally pulled a wire out of his finger and hooked up to the ship. 

Harry stared and decided he would go fix up the rooms and storage areas some more. 

It was pretty awesome that magic worked on the technology of this planet. 

(Suck it, Hogwarts, A History.) 

… … … 

Two hours later, Sirius declared them ready to go. Because magic fixed the fuel cells which weren’t empty and there should have been enough for them to reach at least a few of the neighbouring planets. 

Then they would definitely need a refuel. 

(The ship had a solar sail that they could use, so that was cool. Because Sirius said, according to C3-US’ databanks, big fuckoff mirrors can apparently make spaceships move with the power of a sun. Awesome, right?)

In the interim, Harry realized that fixing technology could be a pretty lucrative job in this world. He had been playing around on that notebook-computer-thingy he had repaired in the rubbish pile and found that it connected to what they called the holo-net and Harry presumed was the internet. 

The holo-net told Harry a few things. One, nothing was free (which he kind of already knew) and two, bounty hunting was a thing. 

Harry wasn’t sure if he wanted to be a bounty hunter, but it’s not like there were many other jobs he could do. Maybe a smuggler?

“So, credits.” 

“Credits?” replied Sirius, putting the wire back into his finger and putting the tip back on. 

“Yeah. We’re going to need them to buy more fuel for our ship. Which needs a name, by the way.” 

Sirius flashed his eyes twice at Harry and the teen rolled his own in response. “I thought the name was obvious.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah. The Marauders.” 

Harry scoffed. “I’m not nearly as much of a prankster, so that doesn’t really fit.” 

Somehow, Harry knew Sirius was pouting at him. 

“Well what was your idea?” 

The teen shrugged. “Hogwarts?” 

“Lame,” Sirirus declared immediately. 

“Well, you suggest something.” 

Sirius was quiet for a moment and Harry took that time to sit there in the pilot’s chair, poking at the buttons that looked safe. 

“How about,” began Sirius slowly, “The Full Moon?” 

Harry rolled his eyes hard. “Just because Remus is your soulmate--” 

“Platonic only!” 

“-- doesn’t mean we should name OUR ship after him.” 

Sirius was definitely pouting now. 

“How about something completely different, like the Magician?” Harry said with a spur of inspiration. 

“‘The Magician?’” repeated Sirius with an odd inflection to his voice. 

“Yeah, sure, why not?” 

The droid considered this, then raised his bent arm and let his hand twist back and forth in what Harry assumed meant a ‘so-so’ motion. “Let’s put it in the ‘maybe’ pile.” 

“All right, The Magician is in the ‘maybe’ pile.” Harry nodded agreeably, just as something on the ship started to flash at them. “Hey, Sirius. What does this mean?” 

The droid waddled closer and leaned over to the look at the screen. “Means that there are people approaching the ship.” 

Harry looked up to his godfather. “That’s probably not a good thing.”

“Yeah, no probably not.” 

“Shit.” Harry pulled out his wand and then quickly accio’d his cloak, pulling that on. Sirius made a noise of surprise when Harry did that (because, “since when could you accio that!?”) but he was ignored as Harry moved towards the end? Butt? Back? Back! Of the ship. 

From where Harry stood, invisible with his cloak, he could see two people (well one of them definitely looked human at least) were cautiously approaching the door of their ship. 

“Hello?” one called out, and Harry suddenly had a moment to marvel at the fact that EVERYONE spoke fucking English. Like. What were the chances? They even had the same fucking British accent. “My name is Tu'ebb Govan. I am a Jedi Knight.” 

Harry took a second to wonder what the heck was a jedi then tuned back into what the man? (it looked like a man, even though he was blue and had spikes on his head) was saying. 

“Is anyone in here?” 

Both people-- jedis?-- were carrying swords made of light, both blue in color. They were super pretty and Harry had a sudden urge of, ‘I need me one of those’. 

“Master, I can sense two beings in the ship…” The human looking one said and the blue alien nodded. “But I cannot see anything?” 

“Let’s go into the ship. Follow behind me.” 

Sirius, who was hiding behind Harry leaned forward to whisper, “ _Stupefy_ on three?” 

“Yes,” Harry whispered back after he realized that Sirius couldn’t see his nodding.” 

“One.” 

“Two.” 

“Three!”

They both shot off silent stunners, the human going down but the blue one dodged. Sirius followed this up with three more and Harry shot off a few of his own, mixing in a few other curses as well. 

When the blue alien attempted to bat away the disarming spell with his sword of light, it was wrenched from his hand and went sailing towards Harry. 

“Oh shit fuck, bad idea,” the teen yelped and dodged. 

Sirius was able to land a stunner on the shocked alien and he went down next to the human-looking one. 

Harry just managed to grab the handle of the light sword and found a switch that, thank fucking Merlin, turned the damn danger-blade off. 

“Mine now,” the teen declared, finding the clip and attaching it to his jeans. The magpie in him (or maybe it was a dragon?) decided to go turn off and grab the sword from the human as well, clipping that onto his other side. To be honest, he’d done the same thing to the people who had attacked them earlier, too. Then, while Sirius was leaning over the blue alien, Harry started casting _reparos_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> … … … 
> 
> AN: I realized just today that C-3PO’s serial number is _-3PO, not C3-__. Lol Oops. I don’t care. Fanfic! /throws sparkle dust/ (Also, if you wanna see what Sirius looks like, google K-3PO.)
> 
> So I totally believe that Harry would know what the internet is. It’s 1996. The Dursleys definitely had something like AOL. 
> 
> Can you tell I wrote this while suffering from “4am brain”? (not as bad as morning brain, but definitely crazier lol) 
> 
> So, Harry’s trench coat that he found is inspired by Star Lord’s trench in the first and second Guardians movies. Little more classic red than the maroon Star Lord wears, but having that same… length. And style.
> 
> I’m so excited about my soulmarks premise in this fic. I have to find a way to work the exposition of how they work into the narrative. If I can’t, I’ll just explain it in an endnote after the next chapter, but yeah. Super excited.


End file.
